a crismus karl

teh furvest frum last visituh

kum sitt yoo down bee syde mee
adn lissen to mai tayl
tayk mai worning az itz givven
adn lett yoor spiritz kwayl
yool bee vizited bai free kittehs
adn lissen too tehm wel
coz iff yoo shud ig naw tehm
yoor heddin strayt to…(teh basement)

teh kitteh ov crismus pst

tayk mai paw iz sho win yoo
juss wer yoo wented rong
yoo didnut spend eh nuff tyme
on wyne (wi)men adn song
nor play nor fun nor chay sin
teh fevver nor teh stryng
nor layin con temp lay tin
teh burdees on teh wyng
burdees on teh wyng

teh kitteh ov crismus prezzee

tayk mai paw adn kum adn see
hao ovver peepul fayr
dansin drinkin partee in
wyle yooz nott beein tehre
“iz gotta wurk” ai heerz yoo say
“tihs job wone doo itz self
iz gotta keep on pooshin
to gavver up mawr welf”
(“adn iff ovver peepul hav nuffin
ai reellee karnt bee blaymed
tehy shoodnt hav bee bornded
layzee, stoopie or laymed
layzee stoopie laymed”)

teh kitteh ov crismus yet2kum

tayk mai paw adn wee’l away
too see wot tyme wil bring
too see wen peepul lurn yoor ded
tehy laff adn joke adn syng
adn sae hee woz a smellee
wot nevver helpded uh sole
nao heez wer hee beelongz
at teh bottum ov a hole
teh bottum ov a hole

o tel me preshuss kitteh
hao kan ai mayk amendz
hao kan ai mayk surtane
tihs iznt hao it enz
adn taht ai wyl nott dai alone
wiv noe fambily or frenz
noe fambily or frenz

teh anser sed teh kitteh
haz been heer awl along
yoo gotta chanje teh wae yoo liv
coz yoo been doin it rong
happyness iz peepul (adn kittehs)
adn not uh wel-stuffd purse
itz tuch adn wormf adn carin
luvin munnies iz uh curse
luvin munnies uh curse

so heed teh kittehz peepulz
adn hold yoor fambiliez tite
adn lett tehm noe yoo luv tehm
coz taht iz livin rite
taht iz livin rite

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  1. damommza

     /  December 8, 2011

    Ai cannawt beleeb ai nebber saw tihs b4. Tihs iz treewly wunnermus adn iz a perfekt eggzample uv whii yoo is sush a talon ted powet. Ai am trooly humbloled bai tihs. Ai boews tu yoo adn adn gibs yoo manee manee clappity-clappitys.

    • This was posted on ICHC last December, so the only people who would have seen it were those who visited that lol 😀

      • damommza

         /  December 8, 2011

        OH This wusn’t on your blog? but only on a LOL? I didn’t realize you captioned lol’s as well. I’ve made a (very) few and they never showed up so I stopped. Yoo iz a draygon uv manee talynts, infinkso!

        • No, I did post it here, but it went up with all my existing stuff when I started the blog on Jan 1st. However as I never got many visitors until the last few months it would have easily been overlooked by anyone who hadn’t read all the poems on the blog or who hadn’t seen it when it was originally posted on ICHC 😀


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