ai kan kuddl wif a kitteh
ai kan pet a pussehkat
if yoor luukin 4 a mass ooss
ai kan be dooin taht

ai’z a champeeen eer skritchur
ai kan snoglol wif teh best
adn az a belleh rubber
ai kan out purr-form teh rest

wen it koms down 2it
ai’m a kitteh’s bestestest frend
4get awl teh ovverz coz
yool pik me in teh end


legends II

by damommza and sunovawot

tho ignorance is sought
intelligence is bought
and those who map out strategies are played
by the the hand who holds that sword
no freedom as warlord
the only one who’s really free is dead

yet let the corpses rage
for death is it’s own cage
wherein one’s sacrifices come to nought
at least in life we find,
though we trail far behind,
the ragged edge of power may be caught

and all the hell we fear
will do it’s burning here
for in the “now” is when the fire rages
before the church bells chime
announcing it’s your time
death opens up the portal to it’s cages

then just this once we’ll fight
take on hell’s own might
douse the raging flames with our own blood
and if our hearts are true
we’ll battle our way through
and cleanse the pits with our corporeal flood

when our veins are drained
and nawt of blood remained
the flames dancing lower in the sky
Hell will open wide
damned spirits join our side
with trumpets blaring victory, their reply


legends have been told
of the times of old
when freedom seemed to be more than a word
but sure as eagles fly
the storytellers lie
freedom belongs to he who holds the sword

so bend a servile knee
to the Powers That Be
and don’t forget to hide among the crowd
then wipe a secret tear
internalise the fear
for showing how you feel is not allowed

upfi’s burfdae

letz awl danse a jiggl
4 a speshul catta piggl
adn merember itz ill iggl
not 2 haz a burfdae giggl


she slips from my grasp
those moments that i held her
could taste the essence of her
are gone without a trace

she slips from my view
but i don’t need to see her
i know her shape and purpose
as if it were my own

she slips from my mind
but when i really need her
can’t find my way without her
i know she’s always there

goal (YAMHB*)

and this once more he said to the dying and the dead
“there’ll never be a sanctuary here”
and the rest of us in tears, dark drowning in our fears
looked to those behind to provide cheer

there were curses in those days flying round the maze
wherein we faced the vagaries of time
and as the matter stood we were doing all we could
though not a one of us was in his prime

precious blood we shed as we followed fortune’s thread
through the darkest corridors of doubt
but sometimes so they say the weak will win the day
and we came upon our quarry with a shout

with battle colours high we swore we’d win or die
and chased the cursèd monster to it’s lair
while those around us died we held on to our pride
and took our bloody vengeance on it there

though vengeance may be sweet in the battle’s heat
it never once could cure an ailing soul
and caught beneath the weight of a cold uncaring fate
we mourned the ones who never reached our goal

*Yet Another Mock Heroic Ballad


tehrez a lite taht waznt burnin
juss moe mentz agoe
2 show uz taht yoor spirit iznt gon
we noe taht yool be tehre
wen we 2 cross teh brijj
taht fort wil giv uz strenf 2 carree on

we didnt want 2 sae
gudbai 2 owr deer hart
butt coodnt hold yoo heer agaynst such payn
so yoo muss goe ahed
butt tayk owr luv wif yoo
2 warm yoo til we all meet up agayn


i’m a genuine survivor of the life i’ve had to live
the hills i’ve had to climb i’m climbing still
it doesn’t matter how high the ground before me is
mere gradient will never conquer will

i could wish that life were easy or easier at least
but wishing never changed the way things are
so i’ll take what i am given as it comes along
after years of battle what is one more scar

some day i’ll reach a haven, a perfect place to rest
then i’ll turn my back on this unforgiving road
but until that day arrives i will never choose to stop
for i have the strength to manage yet my load

the secret

shall we tell you how we do it
do you want to know the truth
we’re sorry we are not allowed
’cause it would be uncouth

but if you really need to
know how it is done
bring us half a million quid
and we’ll tell you just for fun


i can smile through the insults you scatter in my path
i can shrug off all your laughter and your jeers
you think you’ve got me down, forced me to the ground
but i’ve been hurdling bigger obstacles for years

you can tell me i’m a loser who isn’t worth a damn
you can point out all my many various flaws
tell me i’m a waste,  that i have abominable taste
but i’ll back my judgement any day ‘gainst yours

you’ve had so much to say about my failings
told me to my face i’m just a clown
but despite all your hate i’m still standing straight
there’s nothing you can do will put me down