hah!

i can smile through the insults you scatter in my path
i can shrug off all your laughter and your jeers
you think you’ve got me down, forced me to the ground
but i’ve been hurdling bigger obstacles for years

you can tell me i’m a loser who isn’t worth a damn
you can point out all my many various flaws
tell me i’m a waste,  that i have abominable taste
but i’ll back my judgement any day ‘gainst yours

you’ve had so much to say about my failings
told me to my face i’m just a clown
but despite all your hate i’m still standing straight
there’s nothing you can do will put me down

Advertisements
Previous Post
Next Post
Leave a comment

5 Comments

  1. damommza

     /  August 24, 2011

    A whole new batch of poems to have tea with!! I love when you keep to 4 lines per stanza. You always have the little “kick” at the end that I look forward to. I’m not sure about the “will put me down” at the end. I’m keep thinking “to” put me down? If you add “that” will put me down, there are too many beats. Whadya think?

    Reply
    • I chose “there’s nothing you can do will put me down” because it is much broader in my view in that it allows for actions both direct and indirect, to bring me down. An example might be the difference between stepping on my face and slandering my name all over the place.. Using “to” instead of “will” would tend to suggest direct action only. Adding a “that” would, as you say, make too many beats (it could be worked by ending the line “that’ll put me down”, I suppose), but would also have a similar effect as using “to”.

      Reply
  2. damommza

     /  August 24, 2011

    That makes good sense and actually explains it better. Yes, the “will” does encompass all possible actions better. I agree, the “that’ll put me down” is the same as “to” and is a bit cumbersome.

    Reply
  3. damommza

     /  August 25, 2011

    Just wrote you back! 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: