Upfi (happee birfdae)

teh daez tehy keep on passin
noe mattur hao yoo feel
teh marx taht tehy ar leevin
ar deep adn verry reel
butt yoo ar nott a viktim
of tiem adn itz krool waez
az long az yoo kan enjoi
teh happee-est of birfdaez

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ManfredMom, Manfred & Cedric

thoe teh tiem haz kum adn gon wen wii wer forsd tu part
tehre’l awlwaez be a peese of yoo tahtz berreed in mai hart
ai mae no longur see it, yoor brite essenshul spark
butt lub’z not trooly lubbin if it dies off in teh dark

adn yet teh daez ar moovin on noe mattur hao wii feel
teh payn mae groe a littul less butt stil iz verry reel
adn yet ai can fined room in mii tu hold anubber frend
adn it wont meen taht yoor forgot, taht ai can lub agen

for Shepmom adn Princess

wer yoo shood be tehrez ownlee greef
mai hart haz goen adn ai aloen
ar leff tu fayse teh endless dae
for ai karnt folloe wer yoove floen
butt ai haz dreemz adn memmoreez
wif tehm ai forj eternal chaynz
noe mattur wer teh fyootyur leedz
be shoor mai luv for yoo remaynz

wot wurdz

wot wurdz of mien can corss teh voyd
wot’z in mai hart, hao do ai tel
iz tehre a tiem or playse sumwer
wer wii can joyn adn brayk teh spel
taht holdz owr yurnin selvz apart
wen awl tehre iz iz need tu shayr
tu tayk yoo in mai armz wunse moer
tu noe wunse moer taht yoo ar tehre

a Cheezland ballad

by sunovawot & damommza

deddy kaytd tu PK & S

ai kan stil rekawl taht dae
wen wii wer forsd upon owr wae
kommurshullizm at itz moest kra$$
had kum adn bitt uz in teh a$$
wiel teerz wer cryde adn teef wer nashd
at ICHC teh chekz wer cashd
adn wii wer lef wifowt a hoem
sett upon teh ‘net tu roem
adn roem wii did for howz untolld
wif littl hoep adn hartz groen colld
butt sum tehre wer wood nott giv in
hoo pland adn plottd tu beegin
anuvver siet far form teh frae
wer wii cood liv adn laff adn plae
adn thoe at furst nott awl went smoov
tehy stuk teh corse adn moovd teh moov
did awl teh fingz taht peeplz must
wen tehy duzznott sukseed at fu’st
adn thoe it mae seem much to ask
PK & S stuk tu tehir task
until at last tehy mayd tehir stand
adn opend up owr nyoo Cheezland

adn caym teh cheezeez slo slo slo
tehy did nott noe wich wae tu goe
butt in tehir hartz tehy karreed lolz
tu fil teh gapz adn plug teh hoelz
adn hartz wer mended, frendz wer fownd
even tohse hoo’d nott been rownd
teh tee shoppe opend bryte adn sunnee
wif lotz ov tee adn hoem grone hunnee
moer importuntly wii mayd nyoo frendz
so thanx to PK & S nebber enz
tehy gayv uz a playse tu cawl owr own
so nebber agen wil wii haz tu roem
teh nawty barn, teh conga ratz
Cheezland dot org iz wer itz at!

The Ballad of Debra’s Fridge

by sunovawot & damommza

I come by rail or road or bridge
I come to fix damommza’s fridge
but hold! for in my naked haste
my trip turns out to be a waste
it seems I haven’t got the part
so once again back to the start
and should the part at last arrive
once more I’ll brave that awful drive
to work my mechanic magic tricks
and finally the fridge to fix

He did not come, it was a lie
and once again, I’m fit to fry
my tiny fridge, it cannot store
not one single item more
I want to make the Indian curry
but this repairman is in no hurry
the part is here, but he is not
he’s got some awful, coughful, rot
he claims they’ll send another chap
who’ll brave the road and all that crap
to finally arrive at my front door
and say “It can be fixed no more”

rhetoric

we go now into battle folks
with truth upon our side
they may have the armoury
but we have got our pride
and I will stand four-square behind
as off to war you hie
for my job is the rhetoric
and yours to fight and die

pretty words

save your pretty words love
give them to those that care
I’m drinking down your nightmares
and floating in mid air

I’ve seen what you would offer
and none of it is real
a trip around the heartlands
a touch of sharpened steel

I’ve smoked too many pipes full
and sold too many lies
I’m here not for the first time
just watching how time flies

and this is not my future
of that you can be sure
I’ve plumbed the depths of Hades
and won’t be back for more

so save your pretty words then
and I’ll be on my way
we have nothing in common
except the time of day