teh nyoocummer (for cweenmj adn fambly)

ai wil wawk beesied yoo
coz weer goin teh saym wae
ai wil hold yoor hand adn
tugevver we wil stae
adn ai wil cawl yoo mama
adn ai wil lub yoo so
adn it mae tayk a littul wile
butt tugevver we wil groe
adn o tihs is teh bess dae
taht ai haz ebber seen
coz ai ar nao teh nyoo prinse
adn yoo ar nao mai cween

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a nyoo bebbeh

tihs catmuss wot ai wont iz a bruvva or a sista
coz ai iz awl alown wen yoo goze tu yoor pleh wurk
ai kan run upndown ai kan sleeep or eet mai kibble
butt in teh end teh ownly fing ai seem tu do iz lurk

ai wontz sumwun tu plae wif
awl teh tiemz yoo iz awae
sumwun tu kurl adn sleep wif
froo teh long adn loanly dae

iz nott tuu mush tu ask ai doent fink taht ai iz greedee
ai pwomiss ai’l eeven shayr mai fayvrit gushy fud
adn ai’l shayr yoor lap adn mai toiz adn beesiedz
a nyoo fur bebbeh’l prolly help wen yooz in a mood

we needz a nyoo bebbeh
won of owr verry own
coz sumtiemz ai get scayrd
wen ai iz awl aloen

2 into 1 wont go!

by damommza & sunovawot

born with a lap that was only so wide
I now have a dog and cat by my side
each one wanting to catch a ride
to sit on mommy’s knees

staring has started, the dog is ahead
cat is insistant that I be her bed
each one wishing the other dead
to claim this sacred spot

the battle thank goodness is not to the grave
but as always it will be a close shave
in exasperation I tell them to behave
or both of them will lose

in time a solution is mutually found
as neither is willing to give any ground
if mommy lays down then space will be found
for both of them to win

EPILOGUE:

cat has gone hunting and that I do dread
the dog had to pee, then found a new bed
all of that arguing, that being said
my laptop wins the lap!

kittehz inviet

if fingz iz gettin hevvy
adn yoor pullin owt yoor hayr
wy nott cum adn joyn mii
unnerneef teh chayr

wii can tork abowt teh wevver
or orl abowt teh noos
or maebe ly heer kwiettly
adn hold on tite adn schmoos

this was inspired by a posting on Miz Foofytaylz Tea Room, https://mizfoofytayl.wordpress.com/2011/09/23/ohai-3/

tootseez

so ai haz a littul fur-tiv
adn ai hied behind teh dor
waytin 4 teh tootseez
kreepin cross teh flor

wen tehy cum ai’l catchum
adn choo ’em 2 a pulp
nibbul tehm rite off yoo
adn swolloe wif a gulp

kuddl

ai kan kuddl wif a kitteh
ai kan pet a pussehkat
if yoor luukin 4 a mass ooss
ai kan be dooin taht

ai’z a champeeen eer skritchur
ai kan snoglol wif teh best
adn az a belleh rubber
ai kan out purr-form teh rest

wen it koms down 2it
ai’m a kitteh’s bestestest frend
4get awl teh ovverz coz
yool pik me in teh end

teh choyse

a hyooj step in2 teh un nown
we taykz tihs step 2gevva
mai luv wil be
liek mai noo hoem
iz gunna be 4evva

a crismus list

itl haz stryng
adn itl haz toiz
(adn a mr. snuggolz ov mai own)
adn itl haz gushifuds
adn itl haz bedz
adn itl haz wyndos ai kan luk owt ov
adn itl haz warm
adn itl haz noze boopz n hed bonkz
adn itl haz tummeh rubz
adn itl haz bocksez
adn itl haz gaymz
adn itl haz stryng
adn itl haz sleepz
adn itl haz fingz 2 clyme
adn itl haz tummeh rubz
adn itl haz ovver kittehs or a goggie 2 bee mai frenz
(or jus bai mai self, ai dont mynd rilly)
adn itl haz a mama
adn itl haz luv
adn itl haz for ebber