farce

pass me a new message boyo
the world is in a loop
i can’t speak for anybody
my tongue’s in the soup

sing a verse of “how’s your father”
god knows it’s a farce
take your time and do it rightly
or they will kick your arse

what’s the point of hanky panky
ask the eldest son
nothing comes to he that’s waiting
while the race is run

i will cut the cake in pieces
each one has a choice
genuflect to greater glory
but never raise your voice

words can be a curse they tell me
as the curtains rise
take my hand and take my fortune
damn your pretty eyes

share a long and silent moment
whilst i parse my words
anything a man may cling to’s
strictly for the birds

juliet and romeo are
waiting at the grave
i will turn my eyes to heaven
but still i will not shave

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dancing fool

your mama sings songs and your pappy hunts fish
you ain’t known a gallop ‘cept its name was gish
you shot your bolt on the 4th of july
when they caught you dancing in the hurricane’s eye
now i swear true blind that i know you well
since we fought together ‘gaint the northman’s hel
and you told me then and you’re telling me still
that if i don’t dance then my poetry will

it’s

it’s vicious he said with its eyes bloody red
and its teeth that are sharp like a blade
its claws oh so keen and its language obscene
it’s the best little monster I’ve made

like monsters of old it’s tremendously bold
it will march up and spit in your eye
and somebody wrote that it smells like a goat
but that is a damnable lie

its fragrance it’s true may turn your face blue
and cause you to sputter and spume
but that I’m afraid is how it was made
with a stink that will empty the room

now some may pretend that they are its friend
and others to know it by sight
but the truth must be said, if you meet it you’re dead
for it never can stop at one bite

and notice said he, with malice and glee
a twinkling eye and a bow
in case you think I am telling a lie
it’s standing behind you right now

a wake

there was you and me and a million or more
and the old man himself stood guard at the door
keeping out muggers and martyrs and fools
who didn’t know when to abandon the rules
and dances were danced beneath crazy lights
and fighters were fighting their manifold fights
the walls were ringing like heaven’s own bells
and witches and warlocks were casting their spells
and the pair of us propped up by the bar
speaking of nothing, enjoying a jar
and you were so pretty I felt my heart break
the night that we gathered for the old man’s wake

i don’t believe

i don’t believe in neck-ties, i don’t believe in grace
i don’t in pretty girls or boys who give good face
maybe i am meretricious, maybe i’m a fool
but they didn’t teach me anything the day i went to school

i don’t belive in Genghis Khan or Robespierre or van Rijn
or Pele or Byzantium or that it will be fine
i don’t believe in much at all, but one thing remains true
when the world is dead and gone i’ll still believe in you

frankie faithless

frankie faithless, lithe and lissom
come and weave your thoughts for me
i will meet you in the garden
there we’ll crack a jar or three

frankie faithless, skirts a-swirling
genuflecting as you go
i will tell you a life story
tales there are for all to know

frankie faithless, wild and windswept
crazy as a cardboard frog
let me in to tell your fortune
there is light beyond this fog

frankie faithless, bold and bristling
take a walk with me this night
leave no sign to mark our passage
sing to me of your delight

frankie faithless, rare and righteous
all those steps you chose to take
i could see you smiling softly
as the hearts around you break

frankie faithless, cool and carefree
when it comes, push to shove
there is only one word for it
damn my eyes, but i’m in love

when

now i’m a man with no trace of sin
when i get to heaven i will march right in
st. peter himself will pour me a beer
slap me on the back, say glad you’re here
then he’ll shut the gate to the those still alive
’cause he’s only been waiting for me to arrive
and after a pause to raise our glasses
i’ll take me a tour and i’ll kick some asses
for heaven knows, and it knows it well
when i get there i’m gonna raise some hell

family

double it, trouble it
sign your name in hieroglyphics
cool in the kaftan, daddy’s serving tea
bend it, blend it
try to put a shine on it
mummy’s in the counting house, one two three

either, neither
cat has got my tongue again
sister’s dodging butterflies, in the park
colder, boulder
what’s the time in Albuquerque
brother Mephistopheles, dancing in the dark

it

it’s as big as a biggun as round as a thing
made out of rubble and pretzels and string
and if you are quiet you might hear it sing
for it knows all the words to it’s song, my dears
and it knows all the words to it’s song

if you have a sixpence you can get one for cash
at a kid’s party a certain sure smash
when you switch it on take care it don’t crash
they’ve a habit of going quite wrong, my dears
and a habit of going quite wrong

I saw my first when I was nowt but a lad
a gift from my mother when I had been bad
for the shape and the texture drove me quite mad
while it gave off a terrible pong, my dears
and it gave off a terrible pong

now I am much older and set in my ways
I can turn a sharp corner and turn a smart phrase
but I’m in this place for the rest of my days
the bedlam where we both belong, my dears
the bedlam where we both belong

bang-o

I met a scrivener on the way
and he asked me for my name-o
then he gave me a ride to the other side
for to me it’s all the same-o
and I prinked and I pronked and paddled my boat
floating down the stream-o
nothing may be what I think I see
in this frabjous dream-o
and I look to my plans but they’re all gone agley
and the bells no longer ring-o
a penny to a pound that I’ll stand my ground
while the ladies bid me sing-o
and I’ll gently take your hand in mine
and we’ll commence to twirl-o
for I tell you true that I’ll love you too
if you’ll only be my girl-o
so stagger down swagger down round the way
I’ve come to see them hang-o
and we’ll all have fun in the midnight sun
’til the light goes out with a bang-o